Subscribers Only Humor

Solidly Grounded

By KJ Kabza
529 words · 2-minute reading time
Bookmark


1.

When I saw the Hershey bar lying in the road, my first impulse was to pick it up and shout, "Five second rule!"

Then I remembered a prank from when I was a kid. The prankster would unwrap a Hershey bar, then refold the shiny part into a hollow rectangle and slip the part that said 'Hershey's' back over it. Then the prankster would offer it to somebody, and laugh when the poor kid curled a fist over an empty wrapper.

But I knew better now. I wasn't about to look like an idiot. I pushed the Hershey bar with my toe, to see how heavy it was.

It was solid.

I grinned and picked it up, then brushed off the gravel and swarm of ants and unwrapped it. It's a good thing I checked to see if it was solid first. Otherwise I might've done something that looked really stupid.

2.

When I saw the dreadlocked hippy bending over the Hershey bar wrapper lying in the road, my first impulse was to snicker at his eco-conscientiousness.

But he wasn't bending over to pick it up and throw it away. As I...

Data?1524020592

KJ Kabza

This story is exclusive to KJ's paid subscribers. Subscribe to KJ to support their work and get notified about new stories and posts.