From the author: I swear I heard a conversation very much like this one while traveling to work on the Washington DC Metro. It could be that I hadn't had quite enough coffee that morning.
Baby, I need your loving . . . Baby, I need your loving . . . Baby, I need . . .
Hello? Oh, hi baby. Just getting up? How you feeling this morning?
Relax, honey. I laid everything out for you. There's coffee in the pot and a bagel sitting in the toaster just waiting for you to push the button. Your clothes are hanging on the bathroom door.
Baby, please calm down and speak slower. I can't understand a word you're saying.
Oh. Don't worry, baby. Your penis is on the bedside table. No, no. On my side of the bed.
Well, I just had to take it off you last night. It kept crawling around me 'til all hours. That thing of yours got a mind of its own.
Baby, of course I love your penis. And you know I need your loving. Got to have your loving. But I had to sleep sometime if I was gonna get up for work this morning.
You got it back on now, honey? You have yourself a nice cup of coffee and things will be just fine.
This story originally appeared in Lady Churchill's Rosebud Wristlet.
When we started Book View Cafe, I posted a flash fiction every week. About half of them were reprints, but the other half were written on deadline. This collection includes all of them.
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