Art by Unknown artist (1675).
From the author: Herewith follows a rare description longer than the story, the tale itself being a mere 46 words: One summer Saturday, a man goes to the library, where--uncertain what he is looking for, browsing aimlessly, in no hurry to return home to the mortification awaiting him there--he wanders until he stumbles across something which he very much needs, and it is at this moment we begin our story, which never needed this preamble and, you can be assured, will not have been spoiled by it.
The library carries old rituals, shelved in wafer-thin booklets.
He checks out a pictorial history of London, the ritual to cure erectile dysfunction secreted within. Its magic doesn't work, but the painting of the Great Fire of 1666 does.
Great. Another thing to be embarrassed about.