From the author: Every agent wants the biggest client, and they don't come much bigger than Medusa! Will she accept this pitch?
Dear Madame Medusa,
I thank you for our recent meeting in your underground lair. I recognize that you have great choice in service providers and it’s an honor to have been invited to share our proposal to act as your exclusive celebrity management and global brand representative.
Today, legends are forged in real-time, with digitally-savvy audiences not only following, but truly connecting and co-creating with their idols. It’s an exciting time for mythical beings, yet it’s also dangerous. Traditional storytelling may not be enough to stand out in an increasingly crowded and connected myth-space. Not being part of the conversation is the first step in becoming a forgotten story.
That’s where Mythic Idolations steps in. For over ten years we’ve proven our credentials as the leader in mythical being representation. From Cyclops to Baba Yaga, Inkanyamba to Bunyip, we’ve helped take historical legends to millennial audiences around the world.
We work exclusively with monsters, fae and folklore, spirits and fantastical beasts.
We’ve launched and managed social media presence across all major platforms and we’ve hosted events in the ethereal and astral planes as well as on every level of hell. We’ve helped clients get onto the cover of Vogue, GQ, Monster Weekly, and Okay. Our clients have won Emmys, Golden Globes, Spectral Statues, and Academy Awards.
You’re no doubt curious about our approach to sponsorship and brand partnerships. At Mythic Idolations, we don’t simply seek to slap a client’s icon on any product – we craft truly unique brand partnerships that have spawned new legends. We’ve launched new consumer good categories, secured motion picture opportunities and even sent the first mythical being into space!
It’s not all work, though. We recognize the strains and challenges that A-list legends face and we’re here to help our clients relax and rejuvenate. Our VIP concierge service will be at your beck and call, ready to meet any need, whether it’s getting into the hottest nightclubs, scoring front row seats at sold-out sporting events or finding sacrificial virgins on a public holiday. No ask is too great.
As a client of Mythic Idolations, you’ll be in great company with some of the most famous (and infamous) mythical beings of all time. Some of our happy clients include:
Why do so many legends choose Mythic Idolations? We think it’s our focus on the true story of each client. We make sure we understand the unique tale that has inspired for hundreds – or thousands – of years. With respect to the past, we craft a way forward with the determination to take these legends into a new era.
As a client of Mythic Idolations you’ll be assigned your own VIP team who are there to serve and advise you. Our network of experienced representatives spans the globe, from Los Angeles to Delhi, Lagos to Dublin and our new office opening this quarter in La Paz. I’ll note, that we welcome creative friction – we expect each party to bring ideas to the equation and while we may not always meet eye to eye, we’re certain that together, we can craft an incredible future with you.
Madame Medusa, I must admit that my team is excited by the opportunity to work with one of mythology’s greatest femme fatales. Our creative group has been ideating potential partnerships from skincare to cruise vacations and even with the world’s premiere brand of Greek yogurt.
On behalf of my team, I thank you for the opportunity to take your legend to new audiences tomorrow and beyond. Should you have any questions, you may reach me by phone, email, midnight visions or by summoning me directly to your lair.
CEO Mythic Idolations
This story originally appeared in McSweeney's Internet Tendency.