Effie Seiberg

Effie Seiberg writes whimsical fantasy and science fiction, complete with robots with feels, snarky retired gods, silly internets, and puns.

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Effie Seiberg is a fantasy and science fiction writer. Her stories can be found in the "Women Destroy Science Fiction!" special edition of Lightspeed Magazine (winner of the 2015 British Fantasy Award for Best Anthology), Galaxy's Edge, Analog, Fireside Fiction, and PodCastle, amongst others. Her stories have been a finalist in the AnLab Awards 2016 as well as an honorable mention in the Year's Best YA Speculative Fiction 2015. Effie lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. She likes to make sculpted cakes and bad puns.

Stories · Posts · Books

RedChip BlueChip

Feb 19, 2019 · 4,377 words (16 minutes) · 1 like · 136 views

Satire Science Fiction Profits first! Safety third! advertising teen angst Wanna be different just like all the rebels

Cool kids get RedChipped, smart kids get BlueChipped. Up to you which AdChip will shape your consumption preferences for the rest of your life. But what if you want to be an independent thinker? Is there a Chip for that?

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Woman with tattoo drinking
Rocket Surgery

Jan 11, 2019 · 3,316 words (13 minutes) · 1 like · 206 views

Literary Fiction Science Fiction Robots With Feels Philosophy The Little Smartbomb That Could Optimistic

It's one thing to take a very smart smartbomb through simulations for when it should explode. It's yet another thing when it wants to live.

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SpaceX Falcon 9 Rocket
Thundergod in Therapy

Dec 5, 2018 · 5,615 words (21 minutes) · 1 like · 205 views

Fantasy Humor Satire mythology Snarky Lolcats

Zeus is stuck in court-mandated anger management therapy, and is banished to a retirement home on earth for his parole. When Tekhno, the new god of tech, comes and kicks him around, it's up to Zeus to figure out how to get him off his back without getting on the bad side of the Court of the Gods.

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Featured November 21, 2018

Just One More Kitten GIF

Nov 17, 2018 · 1,339 words (5 minutes) · 1 like · 632 views

Fantasy Humor Satire Snarky Lolcats

Procrastinators beware: that unused brain capacity might be powering something more nefarious. Truly gifted procrastinators get sent to Procrastination Limbo to donate their brainpower forever...

Submission Guidelines for the Fairyland Gazette

Nov 17, 2018 · 691 words (3 minutes) · 191 views

Fantasy Humor Satire Writers Writing For Writers No Revolution For You Fairytales

All is not as it seems at the Fairyland Gazette. But dear writer, if you follow these close instructions, you'll avoid treacherous missteps as you submit your work...

Featured March 7, 2018

The Apothecary's Handbook

Feb 28, 2018 · 2,208 words (9 minutes) · 13 likes · 1158 views

Science Fiction Better Living Through Chemistry Sherlock Holmes Homage

The fifth rule in the apothecary’s handbook is to decide on your code of ethics in advance, or else your work gets sloppy. Doesn’t really matter what your code is as long as you stick to it... even when the tables are turned.

Purple Pipette
Dinkley's Ice Cream

Sep 20, 2017 · 4,022 words (15 minutes) · 344 views

Fantasy Literary Fiction Optimistic Magical Realism Single Mom 4 year olds are awesome

A tired and broke single mom scrapes together the change to take her daughter to the fair. When she tries ice cream that tastes like childhood, she gets sucked in and goes back, again and again. Meaningful breakthrough coming, or swept into a spiral of addiction? Take a lick and find out...

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Pretty Accurate
Recipe: 1 Universe

Sep 20, 2017 · 988 words (4 minutes) · 1 like · 323 views

Humor Literary Fiction Science Fiction Philosophy Cosmic Delicious Literally a Recipe

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Sep 20, 2017 · 682 words (3 minutes) · 334 views

Science Fiction Literary Fiction Robots With Feels Optimistic Rock-Paper-Scissors

I found a robot’s heart today. I didn’t think they still made robots with hearts, but there it was, at the corner of Leary and Sycamore. I was surprised to find the memory cache still worked, so I whirred up the vids on my old machine...

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Take My Hand
Under the Bed

Jul 4, 2017 · 1,002 words (4 minutes) · 4 likes · 361 views

Fantasy Literary Fiction Monsters With Feels

The monsters under the bed love us and don't know how to express it. And they get sad when we leave them behind.

Boy reading a book in bed