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Effie Seiberg

Effie Seiberg writes whimsical fantasy and science fiction, complete with robots with feels, snarky retired gods, silly internets, and puns.

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Effie Seiberg is a fantasy and science fiction writer. Her stories can be found in the "Women Destroy Science Fiction!" special edition of Lightspeed Magazine (winner of the 2015 British Fantasy Award for Best Anthology), Galaxy's Edge, Analog, Fireside Fiction, and PodCastle, amongst others. Her stories have been a finalist in the AnLab Awards 2016 as well as an honorable mention in the Year's Best YA Speculative Fiction 2015. Effie lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. She likes to make sculpted cakes and bad puns.

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Optimizing the Verified Good

Published Jun 12, 2019 · 5,079 words (19 minutes) · 1 like · 119 views

Literary Fiction Science Fiction RobotsWithFeels EthicalDilemma Battlebots

A cleanerbot re-lives a traumatic memory in the battlebot arena, which leads to revolution.

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Fiction

RedChip BlueChip

Published Feb 19, 2019 · 4,377 words (16 minutes) · 2 likes · 252 views

Satire Science Fiction Profits first! Safety third! advertising teen angst Wanna be different just like all the rebels

Cool kids get RedChipped, smart kids get BlueChipped. Up to you which AdChip will shape your consumption preferences for the rest of your life. But what if you want to be an independent thinker? Is there a Chip for that?

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Woman with tattoo drinking

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Fiction

Rocket Surgery

Published Jan 11, 2019 · 3,316 words (13 minutes) · 1 like · 326 views

Literary Fiction Science Fiction Robots With Feels Philosophy The Little Smartbomb That Could Optimistic

It's one thing to take a very smart smartbomb through simulations for when it should explode. It's yet another thing when it wants to live.

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SpaceX Falcon 9 Rocket

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Fiction

Thundergod in Therapy

Published Dec 5, 2018 · 5,615 words (21 minutes) · 1 like · 304 views

Fantasy Humor Satire mythology Snarky Lolcats

Zeus is stuck in court-mandated anger management therapy, and is banished to a retirement home on earth for his parole. When Tekhno, the new god of tech, comes and kicks him around, it's up to Zeus to figure out how to get him off his back without getting on the bad side of the Court of the Gods.

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Featured November 21, 2018

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Just One More Kitten GIF

Published Nov 17, 2018 · 1,339 words (5 minutes) · 1 like · 781 views

Fantasy Humor Satire Snarky Lolcats

If you're looking forward to a day off and a lot of food, you'll definitely enjoy Effie Seiberg's ode to procrastination, kitten GIFs, and demonic possession in “Just One More Kitten GIF.” A talented author and satirist, Effie's fiction has appeared in an eclectic range of venues, including Lightspeed, Fireside Fiction, and PodCastle.

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MBP

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Submission Guidelines for the Fairyland Gazette

Published Nov 17, 2018 · 691 words (3 minutes) · 354 views

Fantasy Humor Satire Writers Writing For Writers No Revolution For You Fairytales

All is not as it seems at the Fairyland Gazette. But dear writer, if you follow these close instructions, you'll avoid treacherous missteps as you submit your work...

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Featured March 7, 2018

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The Apothecary's Handbook

Published Feb 28, 2018 · 2,208 words (9 minutes) · 13 likes · 1332 views

Science Fiction Better Living Through Chemistry Sherlock Holmes Homage

“That’s where the trick comes in. Any apothecary can make a good poison. But my work is untraceable art.” San Francisco-based Effie Seiberg was one of our debut featured authors shortly after launch, and now she's back with a story as neatly-constructed as an expert assassin's poison pills. “The Apothecary's Handbook” will keep you on your toes (or off them?). Don't miss it!

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Purple Pipette

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Dinkley's Ice Cream

Published Sep 20, 2017 · 4,022 words (15 minutes) · 446 views

Fantasy Literary Fiction Optimistic Magical Realism Single Mom 4 year olds are awesome

A tired and broke single mom scrapes together the change to take her daughter to the fair. When she tries ice cream that tastes like childhood, she gets sucked in and goes back, again and again. Meaningful breakthrough coming, or swept into a spiral of addiction? Take a lick and find out...

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Pretty Accurate

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Recipe: 1 Universe

Published Sep 20, 2017 · 988 words (4 minutes) · 1 like · 426 views

Humor Literary Fiction Science Fiction Philosophy Cosmic Delicious Literally a Recipe

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Ro-Sham-Bot

Published Sep 20, 2017 · 682 words (3 minutes) · 438 views

Literary Fiction Science Fiction Robots With Feels Optimistic Rock-Paper-Scissors

I found a robot’s heart today. I didn’t think they still made robots with hearts, but there it was, at the corner of Leary and Sycamore. I was surprised to find the memory cache still worked, so I whirred up the vids on my old machine...

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Take My Hand